Intensity!!!
There is an unavoidable growing intensity that I have felt for some time now...my body has sent me signals of urgency about saying things that matter (to me) and soon, or better still, consistently, if there is any chance of my feeling "complete" in my passing through here.
This intensity seems to be matched by the level of "chaos" (for lack of a better word...) I hear about and see in the addictions field...the world in which I work.
What seems clear for those for whom "life" has meant chaos or confusion is that they are using drugs that match that chaos and confusion...crack, and/or crystal meth!!! What a match for the world they "perceive" they live in...it makes perfect sense to me, to see young folks these days chosing these types of drugs in the context they live in. The "speed" (no pun intended) at which these drugs work for those taking them seems to match the speed at which the very structures around them are crumbling...including that most important of social systems, the "family"!
The "crash and burn" paradigm seems a perfect description of the immediate effect of these most popular of drugs these days...I am left to wonder what is it that is being reflected back to me when this younger generation is choosing these particular substances in which to "dabble"?
Maybe they too, are sensing the increased intensity with which the social fabric and worldly structures are verging on collapse?
The intensity rumbling through my body call me to act on my first impulses of pressing for change, of demanding a difference, of "moving" things...yet, I am also aware of something deeper that would have me be still, continue breathing, and create the change I need from within...first.
creating at the rhythm of my breath,
RAY