"Deciduous?"
In my willingness to play, lately, I had the chance to "be in conversation" with groups at a national mental health conference in Edmonton, Alberta. I presented WEL-systems concepts on two occasions. In the first group, I got through about 3 of the 30 or so power point slides I had prepared for our conversation (just in case). I confirmed again that time is an illusion, and that being "in time" is the best way to forget about the past and the future. In what seemed to be no time at all, an hour and 45 minutes whisped away in a conversation that had everyone's attention. I was "reassured" in some way, that those in the room were hungry for "possibility", for "what's more". The next morning, about 7 out of the 30 slides with more information on "what we are as human beings". Again, I felt the same hunger, and interest, and this was a Sunday morning session after 4 days of conferencing. Again, a two hour session whisped by and connections were made. I was convinced, and stated such in the sessions, that all I could do in the time we had was to get them curious about the weird and wonderful concepts and models I was presenting.... that had made a difference in my life...and lead them to the WEL-Systems web site!
I guess what I had noticed the most out of this experience in Edmonton was how much I really enjoy being in the conversation, leading, guiding, inviting - getting the juice flowing!
I know that I need to honor that in myself and create more spaces and places where I can have those conversations!!!
Mostly because when I'm in the conversation, I remind myself of who I am!
Next year, this same conference is planned to take place in P.E.I.
I have never been out East and aim to be there next year, at this conference, in late September.
And, I know that I cannot wait 'til then to have these conversations that are such a part of my intention in the world.
As I continue to explore how much I can develop the technical skills of drawing and painting, and writing, I know that I must also "be out there". I know that the conversations I have with myself, as fulfilling and fun as they are, do not allow me to exercise the "courage of my convictions" (for lack of a better saying...); nor do they allow my light to shine fully for others to see.
A word caught my attention on a few occasions lately and has resonance with me, in this moment. The word is "deciduous" (see title above). I looked up the definitions given to the word and held to this one: "Falling off or shed, at specific seasons, as petals or leaves".
And then I thought about my habits; of thought, feelings, routines - Beliefs/Values/attitudes.
I know that for me, each day is a new "season". Given my experience of being "in time", lately, I wonder if I can actually live like all of my life can be compressed in "this moment", this "day", and know that I can shed, with every sunrise and sunset, (hey - sounds like a breathing pattern! Doesn't it...? sunset, sunrise, sunset, sunrise....), anything that feels useless, dead, or not useful to me in the moment.
By "shedding" or allowing things to "fall off", without resisting, just "naturally", by allowing myself to choose some other "thing" that would be more in line with who I make myself out to be today, I know that my Life will be enhanced, my tree or my flower will take on new colours and "look alive"!
And so, I hope that I become "deciduous" and that my branches become bare, with each new morning, that I may grow into my renewed fullness, with each new day!
creating at the rhythm of my breath,
RAY